Cogitations of a Cap

Silver Lining

2009-07-20T21:45:00.003-04:00

So today I got the grand total of what last Friday is going to cost me (beyond the planned cost of the actual trip of course.) The car cost is an annoying expense. But it’s not enough over my deductible to justify getting my insurance involved, with the hassle and time involved in doing that, since they will likely want their own estimate, and photos, and in the end will likely increase my insurance premiums.

On top of that, the clerk at the Princeton Junction Port Authority tells me that I paid my parking ticket on the wrong side of the tracks. How annoying is it that they even make that a possibility?! Even though that is (much) less than fixing my car from the flying shovel, it is so much more infuriating! I loved how the Parking Authority lady said to me in a very patronizing tone, “You would have had to pass the right machines to get to the wrong one which you paid at.” Oh, well, thank you. Now I feel so much better!

One more thing about my car… I got a flat tire on the way home from work a few months ago. I got it fixed at the place right up the street so that I didn’t have to drive out to my dealership on the spare. They just fixed it up and sent me on my way. Sounds like that wasn’t so hot... The mechanic at my dealership today showed me the tire with handfuls of shredded rubber inside! He said the tire was extremely unsafe, so I had Tim drive out with my extra tire. Of course he recommended new tires, but I can only spend so much on that car in a day! I’ll start saving for new tires maybe for the winter.

In good news though, it could have been so much worse if that shovel had hit another part of the car, above, or under the hood. So I have to count myself lucky there. Also, I will finish “paying” for October 27, 2008 this coming Saturday. Hopefully, paying for this bad day in ‘09 won’t take as long! Plus, I am so fortunate to have Tim who was willing to bring me the tire! And the nice mechanic who replaced one and then rotated and balanced my tires for no extra cost. Tim and the nice mechanic at Saturn added a silver lining to this annoying day!

Working for free

2009-07-18T21:50:00.004-04:00

So I finished one day of my community service. I had a lot of anxiety about it, but in the end it really wasn't that bad! It's a long drive back and forth and a long day... I will be glad to be done next week. It's been a while since I have done mindless work. I think the worst part, really, was that it was GORGEOUS outside! I would have given anything to have been out in the sun. I can only hope to get out in the sun tomorrow. Lesson Learned: on the road, avoid School Buses like the plague.

American Girl Place, NYC

2009-07-18T21:20:00.003-04:00

For my mother's 65th Birthday, her two younger sisters, two daughters, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter took her to New York City to go to American Girl Place. My niece is 7 years old, so she made for a good "cover" for all the adult women with her who wanted to go. My mom had such a wonderful time. It was store, museum and cafe spectacular. Lunch was delicious. During lunch my niece was reading some conversation cards and when she read "what would be your dream job?" my Mom jumped in with "Working here!" That just made me so happy to have her there for her birthday!

I will keep that in mind when I deal with the repercussions of that day. I remember last October when I started the day with my run in with the cop and the school bus and ended it in Owego, NY in near tears after midnight with Avis closed up and me with no car. The next day, I called my boss to let him know the additional costs my previous day had cost both me and the company, he told me that his father used to say in each year you have 5 days that are worse than all the rest - and you just have to accept them and deal, and then you have 5 days that are better than the rest -and you have to enjoy every moment of them. No doubt, October 27th was one of those days in 2008. Mom's birthday was likely one of them in 2009. Granted, as I said, it was wonderful to be able to wish mom a happy birthday in person, and to see her in NYC and at the AG store! However, I woke up with a bad dream about driving. I thought that based on that, maybe I should ask Gaby to drive. But I didn't want to cause any unnecessary drama, so I convinced myself that I was being silly. After we hit the road, I was driving on a two lane road surrounded by cars and a side barrier (no shoulder) and a metal shovel flew out of a work truck two cars ahead of me and landed on the road in front of my car. I drove over it and then dragged it to the next exit where I was finally able to pull off the side of the road and pull out the shovel. My car did not stop functioning after that, but my air conditioning did. Overall, fortunate that nothing worse happened... but we will have to see how much that will cost me! Next, when we got back, I had a $60 parking ticket on my car, despite the fact that I had already paid the fee at the machine with the right parking number! So I will call Monday to see if I can get out of paying that rubbish! Finally, on my drive home I hit a thunder and lightning storm, with rain so hard, visibility so bad that all I could do was stay in the center lane, cling to the steering wheel, and say Hail Mary's. Eventually, the rain settled and I could put the window's down some more to breathe in my stuffy humid car. Before then, I must have said a dozen Rosaries. Fortunately, I made it back in one piece! I can only hope the day doesn't cost me too much more money!

Harry Potter Romance

2009-07-15T19:54:00.001-04:00

So last night I saw “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” at midnight, of course! There was a group of ten of us. It was so late, and I had to be at work in the morning, so I didn’t get a chance to hear everyone’s thoughts, but I really enjoyed it. At heart, I am a purist, so I can’t help seeing the differences to the book in my head, but if I can get past the basic fact that it can’t do the book justice, it really was an excellent movie. A few parts that I thought were a little cheesy, but overall, great. Jim Broadbent (or Bridget Jones’ father) did an amazing job as Professor Slughorn. Alan Rickman was amazing as Snape as usual, and Rupert Grint played up his part as a love-potion-gone wrong victim as well as a teenage boy in general. Hermione is my favorite character in the book, and I was thrilled by Emma Watson’s performance, as usual, and was particularly pleased that they left in the part with the canaries. Personally, I also felt Bonnie Wright rose to the occasion as Ginny. I was surprised by how much of the love and hormones they put in, and also how funny they managed to make it, despite the serious tones. At the end, Tim said he will need to see it another 12 times. I, of course, agree!

A brighter day

2009-07-07T22:41:00.002-04:00

The big news in the world lately has been the life and death of Michael Jackson.

Today was the Memorial. I was really impressed with how well it was handled. Watching the coverage of the service was really moving. Especially when his daughter spoke.

Honestly, Thriller is probably my favorite MJ song. But I will always remember singing "we are the world" in elementary school. Many things will be said about Michael Jackson by many people, but I think it's undeniable that he changed it in a huge way. He gave so much, and he made a brighter day.

There comes a time
When we head a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can't go on
Pretending day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
God's great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Send them your heart
So they'll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Freedom!

2009-07-06T20:35:00.004-04:00

So I missed May and June... I was getting used to my new job and my terrible commute. Tim and I both graduated - he with his masters in Systems Engineering from the George Washington University, and me from my company's Advanced Technical Leadership Program. Here is a photo of me from graduation.

Here it is already July! This weekend we celebrated our Nation's freedom. Pretty low key celebration, but wonderful none the less. We went to see the Washington National's play the Atlanta Braves and heard lots of Good, American songs!

My day in Court

2009-04-30T17:51:00.002-04:00

So on October 27, 2008, I got a ticket for going around a school bus in the middle of nowhere MD when I was driving down to Pax River Naval base for an audit. I honestly thought the bus was breaking down. So I stopped and waited for the other cars to pass before passing the bus myself, and was super confused when I got pulled over – apparently despite all the smoke and exhaust it wasn’t breaking down and was just picking up students – I got a “failure to stop for school bus with alternating red flashing lights” ticket for $530 and 5 points on my license. So I decided to go to court rather than just pay it, and today was my day in court.

I left the house before 7am and arrived at the courthouse about 8 - 8:15 once I walked back to my car to leave my cell phones in it. Only attorneys can have phones in the court house. There were at least 5-10 other people with my same cop charged with going around a bus, plus others with my cop for speeding, then other people with other officers - courtroom was packed! They all pleaded not guilty to “failure to stop for bus with alternating flashing lights” and got $200 fine with two days community service (seemingly better than $530 and 5 points on your license.) I felt fortunate to be late in the alphabet to witness this. I decided to gamble and go with not guilty and explain that while I eventually went around the bus, I stopped initially, thought it was breaking down, 15 other cars went around first, etc.

Well, I got to raise my right hand and sit up there next to my officer and state my case without anyone interrupting me at least. I was utterly shaking with nerves though. At the end, the judge asked me if I watched the Discovery channel, and told me that when the wildebeests cross the river, the alligator doesn’t get them ALL. And I was the unlucky wildebeest. And that stopping or not, I had in the end, made the wrong decision, whatever the intent. So I got the same as everyone else – paid $200 and 2 days community service.

So that was all a good experience, though hours later I wish I had just asked for the points. I was out of court by 9:30 but didn’t get to leave the court house until 1pm, all that time I was waiting to be called to select my community service – apparently they give that to everyone, speeding, other non-traffic crimes and what not! So two Saturdays in July I will be driving back to the middle of nowhere MD to work at a thrift shop for 8 hours. Awesome. ;-)

Moral of the story - stay away from Charles County, MD!

New Job

2009-04-17T00:38:00.004-04:00

It’s been a long time since I have posted.

A lot has changed for me in that time. This week I am in Orlando at my ATLP conference. This is probably my last week of travel for a long time. And that is because that interview I flew home for on 2/20 turned into a job offer and I accepted. I am starting to think I really should have done more research though!

What a ride it has been since I started the new job! I have had badge problems, computer problems, more access problems than I could count; I even got locked in a stairwell. I have met my staff and I have been kicked out of buildings after learning that all of my security clearances have been administratively debriefed without my knowledge. So now I need to start from scratch. It’s never a dull moment for me! Hopefully I at least can provide some entertainment!

I found a new Capricorn quote today that seems fitting:

" You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." - Mary Tyler Moore (December 29, 1936)

Pure and Simple

2009-02-22T21:42:00.003-05:00

I left Colorado Thursday. It was a gorgeous day. The sun was shining and it was just warm enough to be comfortable with the sun beating down and warming your face, but cold enough to require jeans and long sleeves. The sun was a brilliant blue without clouds – a deep genuine blue when you looked straight up, and a periwinkle blue-white as your eyes lower to the horizon.

Friday I had my early morning interview.

After the interview, I met a my former lead for coffee at Starbucks.

This was probably the best weekend I have had for a while.

I am thankful for it's purity and simplicity.

Last night

2009-02-19T01:19:00.001-05:00

My last night in Colorado.

Next week I go to Houston, but after that I won’t be getting on a plane for a while… which will be pretty strange after the first two months of this year! I am ready for the work here to be through, however.

Had dinner with Lyndsey tonight which was great. Although I don’t recommend driving from Golden to Boulder. There are ZERO street lights.

Can’t wait to get home tomorrow night to see my boys! Though my interview is first thing the next day – ack!

I am thinking that the economy is going to hit my Katie's Krusaders fund raising for this year's bowl-a-thon. I may not win this year! I am still trying though!

Where has 2009 gone?

2009-02-18T01:55:00.001-05:00

Another week in the field. My last week in Colorado.

I had a call on Monday for an interview, so I changed my flight to fly home early for it. Should be a good experience regardless of the results.

I can’t believe it’s February! My rotation ends in June, I graduate from ATLP in June. How is it Mid February? Where has 2009 gone?

Valentine’s Weekend

2009-02-16T00:11:00.002-05:00

It was a crazy two weeks in Denver. Emotions ran high for so many reasons. It was hard to be away from Tim for those two weeks. Expecially with all that happened. Then I flew home for a whirlwind Valentine’s Weekend. Now I am back in Denver. And hoping to get my head on straight this week!

Some say love, it is a river, and it drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor, and it leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower, and you its only seed

It’s the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance
It’s the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance
It’s the one who won’t be taken, who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong,
you remember in the winter, so far beneath the bitter snows
lies a seed that with the Sun’s love, in the spring, becomes the rose
-Bette Midler, The Rose

Airport people-watching

2009-02-02T23:54:00.001-05:00

Flying back to Denver.
My cab was late, and I was seriously starting to stress this morning.
When I got to Dulles, the bag check line looked extensive, and I was huge with my big two-weeks-of-work- clothes-full suitcase and huge, heavy ski bag. Then once I ditched my bags the security line was long, the people-mover I took to the terminal packed and the line for Starbucks also excessive. I got a bottle of water, a tea and some oatmeal. I was boarding group 2, but waited to board until I finished my oatmeal. The most interesting, and often disturbing, people-watching goes on at the airport. I agree that the arrivals gate may show that “love really is all around” however when boarding or trying to reach a plane people are frantic and pushy and sometimes just crazed! I finally got on the huge 767, sitting in a window seat in the WAY back of the huge plane. Fortunately, I have a decent seat-mate. There is a screaming child two rows ahead of us though, unfortunately. One of my co-workers expects to land in Denver from Philadelphia about the same time as me, so I hope to catch him at the baggage claim. I plan to head straight to the office. I was able to get a little work done on my laptop on the plane.
I am flying over the center of the country, where everything is covered in snow, but you can see everything in checkerboard shapes, with rivers weaving and swirling their way through the otherwise neat and orderly landscape.
I am nervous about this week. I am really feeling behind on my work and hope to be able to catch up and feel more comfortable. I also want to make some progress in searching for my next job, maybe even apply for one. That is always a nerve-wracking process. At least it is a good time for self-examination and reflection.

I don't know if this post is at all conherent, but I cant keep my eyes open a second longer.

Living the dream

2009-02-02T23:46:00.005-05:00

Sunday was the Superbowl party. Tim and I made wings, buffalo chicken dip, dried beef ball – shaped like a football of course, and Superbowl cake. We went to Jim and Christine’s along with a good group of friends. They all had good food as well. Scott made a “Bacon Explosion” which I tried a taste of, Christine had lots of goodies – chili, salad, rolls, fruit, dips and chips and crackers. Shockingly, the game was even really good. I also enjoyed the 3-D commercial which Jen and Scott got us all glasses for.

Jim and Christine invited us to bring BJ, and to wear the dogs out we took them to a dog park near Jim and Christine's before everyone else came over. Here's a shot of Beej living the dream at the dog park in Burke.

Nostalgia

2009-02-02T23:45:00.000-05:00

Saturday morning I was hit by a wave of nostalgia when for some reason, I was drawn to pull my high school yearbook off the shelf and look through it. My senior year yearbook, of which I had been co-editor-in-chief. It really took me back, but for some reason seemed to hit me with a wave of sadness that I carried with me throughout the day and couldn’t quite get out of my head. I still can’t quite figure out why, or trace that exact sadness for what it was, but it affected my day and my time at home.

Giving a gift

2009-01-31T21:57:00.001-05:00

Friday I telecommuted and got a good bit done. I just feel like I am really behind in work. In the afternoon I had a mentor meeting which was really good. On a work level, I thought we had a really great discussion about things and talking about my future and possible next options. But then when I was packing up to go we talked about a big change in my mentor’s life, and other life events and how they affect us – which practically went on for another hour. Of all the mentor meetings I have had, it was one I will never forget. The biggest lesson I will try to hold in my heart is for my future with Tim: that when I make a major life choice in which I go with his preference or background rather than my own, I will think of it as giving him a gift, rather than sacrificing something of myself.

Moving on

2009-01-31T21:24:00.002-05:00

Thursday I went into the office in Bethesda for the first time in a while. It was a productive day, and I went next door in the morning for a meeting with one of my mentors. We talked about my next job and goals and people to work for and overall had a great discussion. I left the office at 4:30 to be sure to take BJ out before my 6 o’clock call and change to head over to Jen’s for Grey’s night.

I had such a great time with the girls for the non-Grey’s-Grey’s-night. (Grey’s Anatomy wasn’t new.) I felt like I was way too chatty though. I just kept talking. It was like I hadn’t been speaking for months. And even as it was happening I was trying to shut up, but I also just felt like I had so much to say. I have no idea why, I didn’t want to dominate the conversation. Patricia had gotten me the cutest BJ ornament, a wine cutter and pocket tasting book for my birthday. Annemarie told us about her Christmas at Tom’s and their engagement party. Christine and I talked about how we are taking the dogs to the dog park on Sunday before her and Jim’s Superbowl party. They all left before Private Practice because it was getting late. Jen and I watched Private Practice and Scott came home in the middle. Next week is a dual event between Grey’s and PP, and I will be in Denver. Jen and Scott arrive that day so I told her she could come watch it at my hotel. Haha. I am really looking forward to next weekend in CO, I am just not looking forward to packing.

As I am starting to think about my current job and whether or not it’s time to start applying for my full-time job off ATLP, I realize that the constant traveling isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I do enjoy it in general. It’s too bad I couldn’t travel for work moderately, rather than all or nothing. I just have to hope I make the right decision as the time comes.

I know besides Tim and Beej, I really miss Grey’s nights, and Thursday night definitely reminded me of that.

Making Yellow Snow

2009-01-29T06:04:00.000-05:00

The roads were bad enough, and I had little enough on my schedule today to keep me from driving all the way to Bethesda. When I took Beej out walking he was perplexed by the white stuff covering all his beloved grass, and the weird ice layer on top of it that broke roughly as he walked over it. He seemed to enjoy himself for the most part though. He did seem reluctant to relieve himself at first, but before I knew it he was pawing at the ground and pacing in circles. It reminded me of Marley and Me where Marley is old when they move to Pennsylvania, and he has to try to make his way out with his old bones to a far tree to go in just the right spot where there is no snow blocking his way. I guess we all have our idiosyncrasies to account for, even our pups.

First Snow

2009-01-27T22:11:00.003-05:00

It snowed for the first time today! I was at the conference, and the big glass windows made the world look like a perfect winter wonderland!

Driving home I remembered why I spent so much time cleaning off my car in the snow. And why people here make me so angry driving in the snow! All these idiots with snow all over their cars flying off their car and hitting you, or worse – making people slam on their brakes for no good reason. I was lucky to get to drive home at a decent hour, while it was still daylight and traffic was extremely light.

And I was happy to spend the evening with my boys. I have to be grateful to the travel atleast, for appreciating my time at home so much! I wish there was enough snow to go make angels....

Can you have it all?

2009-01-26T23:39:00.005-05:00

The leadership conference that I attended this week was very well done.

The theme was innovation and each day opened with a speech on Innovation. The first day opened with a CTO who gave a motivating talk about innovation, leadership, technology and the future of our business. It was relevant, including a quote from our Executive Vice president that had just come out in a memo the day before. You could tell he wasn’t using recycled charts, which was refreshing. The next speaker was our business area’s VP of Business Development and he also showed a level of honesty and humility which was refreshing. The second day’s opening speeches were not as impressive. The first seemed like a canned sales pitch for something I already own. The second was from one of our HR business partners who had a sales pitch for herself rather than addressing how we can advance our own careers. I did take one thing from that speech though – speaking of our ability to interview according to our specific leadership imperatives. She said the imperatives are not a checklist, and if we use them that way, that’s all they are. She advised us to look at them in relation to how we alter our behavior to exemplify those attributes. That, at least, will give me something to think about.

We also had a review of the book Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell, which I read for the Conference. It was good, and I enjoyed the Director who led our discussion. I think I would have led the book discussion differently, but I enjoyed other’s points of view on the different points in the book. It gave me a lot to think about. I also really enjoyed the sessions they had. There were many that sounded interesting. We each went to 2, and I enjoyed both of the ones I attended, and shockingly, I thought if anything, they could have been longer. I have a few critiques of the presenters, but I think overall they did a really good job.

The absolute best part of the conference though was the presidents panel. The state of the business was discussed in context to the state of the world today with the current political and economic times: the changes in our business, our customers and our approaches. The executive leadership team was dynamic and empowering, which gave me some peace of mind particularly considering my most recent struggles with the re-definition of the word “micro-manage.” Many of the president’s gave me several things to think about. At the end, the talk turned to work-life balance, and the only female President remarked that we all need to find our own balance. She said that she did have a child, who is now 17 and “a great kid” and she doesn’t think it has hurt her career too much (clearly.) But she did take 60 pre-natal flights. And, she said, you do miss things. She remarked that her husband said they could only have one child, because he couldn’t raise two, and she would never be around. That was the decision they made. And no one can judge you for the choices you’ve made but yourself. And her advice, was that whatever you do, find a partner to go through life with, because you will need them. It was refreshing to hear, but scary. Scary, because for me, all those choices still have to be made. The thing she said that will stick with me the most was:

“People often ask, “Can you have it all?” and my answer is this: “Yes, you can. But not all at once.”

There's no place like home

2009-01-26T10:01:00.004-05:00

A great weekend at home.

Saturday Tim, BJ and I went to see the Hopps in Fred-Vegas. Dawn’s parents were visiting and Doug and Dawn made us all a fabulous crap dip and steak frites dinner with salad and green beans. We had a great time getting to see Nevin. He was super fun and seemed entertained by BJ. What a great baby!

Saturday night, Tim and I decided to take it easy when we got home and play my new game – Yahtzee - which I got as a prize from one of my training classes in Fort Worth this month.

Sunday morning was Ladies’ Brunch at CoCo. Sala. We had a good turnout of 9 of us – considering I didn’t send out the evite until Thursday afternoon. I am hoping to start a review of where we go for brunch, and will link that here.

After brunch I had to drive up to Rockville to help register folks for my company’s business area's leadership conference Monday and Tuesday of this week. I did not stay for the reception in an attempt to work on my work-life-balance and came home and had dinner and hit up The Shirlington movie theater with Tim. We saw Slumdog Millionaire, and I definitely recommend it. My guess is that it will take Best Picture this year. It’s competion is The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – which I saw with my mom over Christmas and loved - Milk, The Reader and Frost/Nixon. Tim and I are hoping to see the group before Oscar time.

Heading Home

2009-01-23T22:55:00.003-05:00

Friday. I am on the plane home now from Denver. I can’t wait to get home and see my boys! I am almost giddy. I can’t believe I went 2 weeks without seeing Beej! I know he will jump on me and lick my whole face when I get in if I let him. And I am so eager to see him, of course I will let him! And even though I saw Tim last weekend, I am jus tas giddy to see him. I think because of the fight we had last weekend, it’s made me think about him even more than normal. Think about him, and our relationship. And truly, how fortunate I am to have him in my life. Two of the key exceptions of my inability to remember making good decisions were:
1) When I went with my gut to see where things with Tim and I would go after the fateful night in Harrisburg.
2) When I went against my first instinct and decided that Tim and I needed to get B.J.
I am happy to be home this week and spend some time with Tim and Beej before I head back to Denver. I like traveling, and I am glad I took this job, but it is tough at times. This will be a much-needed week at home.

I have a window seat on a not-very-full 767. It’s sort of nice. I don’t usually get my laptop out on flights because I get uncomfortable about those next to me reading what I am working on. I am not sure where I am flying over right now, but there is lots of snow. Intricate patterns all over the ground of white contrasted against green/brown ground. Now we have to put away our portable electronic devices… landing. Yay!

Finally home with my boys! Looking forward to a great weekend with them!

Hard Lessons

2009-01-23T22:34:00.002-05:00

Thursday. My last day in the office in Denver for the week.

I drove to a place called South Park for a meeting. It had office buildings, schools, sports playing fields all on top of each other… If I had time I’d have taken a picture. There was just something strange about the place, but the name at least made me laugh.

Many of my co-workers flew home Thursday night. I left the office fairly early. A little after 5 MST, and drove to Golden, CO to meet Lyndsey.

Lyndsey is going through a hard time now. I don’t have many good words of comfort, but she doesn’t really seem to need them. Just being able to get things off her chest seemed good. It got me to thinking about the reading I had been doing lately. About the basic concept Gladwell suggested that we are who we are not despite our difficulties but because of them. I think that is largely true for my own life. Maybe we always learn lessons the best only when we learn them the hard way. Lynds said something that stuck with me last night:

“Maybe this is karma…. But I have learned so much. If this was the only way to learn all that I have, I would do it all again.”

I have to agree with her. Looking back on my life and the times when I have learned the most, times I remember most vividly, are always the hardest times. The hardest lessons. Some were not my fault. They happened to me, and I made the best of them. Other times, I created drama when none was needed. I wanted attention, I wanted something anyway, and when I did not get what I wanted I said all the wrong things. I guess my subconscious figured negative attention was better than none at all. Other times, I just made bad decisions. But I can scarcely remember when I mad “good decisions” (with a few key exceptions) because they went well, and I just didn’t learn anything from them. So while I cringe or get that sick feeling in my stomach when I think of the times I learned the hardest lessons of my life, I think I too, would do it all again.

Old Age

2009-01-22T23:58:00.002-05:00

Wednesday. Possibly the most bizarre and embarrassing thing happened to me at work. I saw a co-worker take out a pair of tweezers and start plucking her chin hairs in the middle of a meeting. She was sitting next to me! Can you tell someone that’s not appropriate?? Wow. When I am older will I think that’s ok to do? Then I went to the Tech Center Tavern and met a bunch of co-workers and one co-workers other friends. We had a good time, but I stayed out too late and was exhausted all day Thursday. And by late… I mean late east coast time, not really here in Denver. I am getting old…

Historic Day

2009-01-20T23:59:00.006-05:00

I woke up early this morning to go work out downstairs. There was no one there so I had the TV all to myself. I tuned into the Inauguration footage. It looked freezing in D.C., but it made me a little homesick, and sad not to be there. I don’t know that I would have gone if I was home, but it was weird to see it on the news and not be there.

Unfortunately, I had meetings all through the Inauguration, so I wasn’t able to watch the speech, but thank goodness for technology that I can read it and watch it on CNN!

I got back to the hotel room in time to watch the “Neighborhood Ball” on TV with all the celebrities singing and the President and First Lady’s first dance to Beyonce singing “At Last.” One thing I caught that was pretty funny was that once the fast dancing started, the Obamas were greeting people and dancing and at one point I noticed the President walking around the stage away from the first lady, and I was trying to see what he was doing. He grabbed a microphone and put out his hand and went to start speaking - but it wasn’t on. He walked around the stage tapping on it and then tried another one – soon after ABC went to commercial, but I couldn’t help thinking it was funny. Here, we have the most powerful man in the nation – in the free world, and he can’t get a working microphone to speak when he is so moved!

Many parallels were made between President Barack Obama and President Abraham Lincoln for this Inauguration. When I was in third grade, I memorized the Gettysburg Address. Of course anyone else would say it was because I was a huge nerd. This is probably true; however, I would say it was because how moved I was when I first read it. Every word of that speech is powerful, the way Lincoln compares the current time to the revolutionary time, and our country’s forefathers who “brought forth a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal,” recognizing that they did not create a nation where all were created equal. He also acknowledges the sacrifices of the many Americans who were killed so far in the Civil War but finishes most powerfully with what we, as a nation, must resolve to do next:

“It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us…that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion; that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” - November 19, 1863

Today, the United States isn’t on a battlefield of Civil War, but we are at war. We have been actively at war for almost six years now. And I personally believe that the challenges facing our new president are just as profound, and may be more diverse and dangerous. Interesting the parallels this inauguration made with Lincoln then, and that his speech also asks us to remember the aims of our forefathers in creating this nation, and also turns to what we, as a nation, must resolve to do next:

"Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more....
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies....
What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world; duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task. This is the price and the promise of citizenship. " - January 20, 2009

Not my cleanest day

2009-01-20T00:02:00.004-05:00

Sunday was a winter wonderland in Boston. We woke up to everything covered in snow, and spent the day around Anne’s. Anne and I went to Gina and Trevor’s for a delicious dinner that Gina made for us and some yummy appetizers. It was a great visit.

The only problem with that evening was that I accidentally set my alarm for 5:30pm vice am. Anne and I decided that we needed to leave for the airport between 6 and 6:15. My alarm clearly didn’t go off, and I woke in a panic at 6:26am. By a MIRACLE (and Anne and Tim’s quickly getting out the door and getting Anne’s car cleaned off while I threw together my stuff and changed without washing up or brushing my teeth) I made my flight. Not before I got the special strip search by the TSA for which United had selected me. Awesome. I felt bad for the lady who had to pad me down since I hadn’t brushed my teeth, as well as for the two dudes on either side of me on the plane – because of course I had a middle seat!

Flight was on time though, so I can’t complain too much, and after getting my luggage and car I stopped to get some food, change my outfit and attempt to make myself look half decent before going into the office. I met a new co-worker who I will be working with for the next 4-5 weeks, which is pretty cool. I look forward to working with her because I know I can learn a TON. I have a feeling work is going to be super stressful the next few weeks though, so I am not looking forward to that.

I had dinner with Lyndsey tonight, which was fabulous. So good to see her again! We went to Texas Roadhouse which was pretty hilarious since she is a vegetarian, but they had a good shrimp skewers dish for her. I found it particularly amusing though that they brought us a sample of ribs since it was our first time (although I think I was there in New Mexico in 06) and the guy seemed really enthusiastic about us trying them. Hopefully he didn’t notice that Lynds didn’t touch them. I felt pretty pathetic though when Lyndsey asked me, I realized I wasn’t totally sure which animal ribs come from. I do prefer to think of meat less as an animal and more as something you buy at the grocery store. But I have now confirmed that ribs are in fact from piggies, but it sounds like beef ribs also exist.
Ah, learning about meat in Colorado.

The glass is bottomless

2009-01-18T17:30:00.003-05:00

Saturday in Boston. Tim, Anne and I went to meet some of Tim’s college friends at the Sam Adams Brewery. We got a tour and got to taste the Boston Lager, the winter Seasonal and a new R&D beer they named very very bitter. Later, we went to Sunset Cantina across the street from the arena. The box office didn’t have any more tickets, and Anne didn’t have one. We ended up being able to get a ticket to the game for her from one of Mark’s friends. The game was great and BU beat BC 5-2. After we all went to White Horse Tavern in Allston. On the way home it started to snow and snowed all the way into Sunday morning. It was really peaceful to see all that snow here this morning. United called me this afternoon to let me know my flight was cancelled. I got booked on an early flight tomorrow to Denver, so hopefully all goes well with that! Gina invited us over for dinner tonight, so I am looking forward to that!

Tim and I got in an argument last night and I spent most of today feeling really bad about it. I was just being silly and selfish. It reminds me of a quote from Grey’s Anatomy:

“Say when…”
“Sometimes, all we want is a taste. Other times, there’s
no such thing as enough; the glass is bottomless… and all we want – is more.”

Mystery Hunt

2009-01-17T15:08:00.001-05:00

I arrived in Boston last night about 7:30. I had a good flight from Fort Worth. I had a middle seat which was annoying, but I was happy the flight was on time. The girl next to me started talking to me about the book I was reading and she was a wicked smart girl from Albuquerque. She was a senior in high school and was going to MIT to compete in “Mystery Hunt” – a puzzle competition at MIT. She was competing with a team formed from her math camp that she goes to every summer. They competed last summer also. She got accepted early action to MIT and was waiting to hear from Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Stanford, University on New Mexico and Texas. Mostly I was impressed that she was so personable despite being an obvious genius!

Anne picked me up at Logan and was waiting for me right when I walked out of the security point-of-no-return. It was great to see her! We got my suitcase quickly and headed out. I spoke to Gina and agreed to meet at “Not your Average Joe’s” in Watertown Square. The three of us had a wonderful time. G and I exchanged Christmas and Birthday gifts and even got a discount on our meal because of it! WE had a bottle of wine and such a nice time catching up. Tim met us there, and after we headed back to Anne’s for the night.

Today it’s good times in Beantown which I will report on later :-)

The best in us

2009-01-15T23:40:00.001-05:00

My last night in Fort Worth. I met Ashley and we had dinner at Daddy Jack’s New England Lobster and Chowder House. We ate quickly and headed back to the hotel for Grey’s Anatomy. Fun!

It was a long day. Training was tiring. Juggling two teams and feeling like I was being productive AND getting something out of training was tough. Well, it could be worse.

A plane crashed into the Hudson today! US Airways Flight 1529 landed into the Hudson River today because of a flock of birds in one of the engines. Everyone survived. How amazing! The pilot landed the aircraft in the water and everyone was ok. The chapter I was reading on my flight here was talking about how crashes have happened largely due to miscommunication between pilots, and here was a situation where external factors caused an engine failure and the pilots were able to think quickly to land in the Hudson and were able to land at a controlled air speed, with wings level and the nose up.

How fortunate that everyone survived. But I cannot imagine the Hudson in January. And there are record colds right now! I was nervous about flying to Boston tomorrow and how cold it is going to be there now. This really puts my silly concerns in perspective.

So many things were done right in order for all of those people to have survived. Pilots, flight attendants, passengers. Strangers acted with compassion for each other, and exited the plane in an orderly fashion. I find sometimes people will knock you over to get off the plane before you so that they can make a connection. It is comforting to know that - at least in this case - when faced with life or death, the best in people’s natures emerged.

Meaningful Work

2009-01-14T23:10:00.000-05:00

Another day of training in Fort Worth. Tried a sushi place for supper called “Piranha” with 5 co-workers, and it was quite good!

I realize I did myself (and anyone who potentially ever reads this) a disservice yesterday by recommending Outliers with no explanation of what I liked about it.

So Outliers talks about success. This was interesting enough to make me want to read it. The basic thesis is that all really successful people did not become so randomly, nor did they become successful despite their circumstances, but rather because of them, even when at first the circumstances seem unfavorable. Gladwell encourages us to re-think the world and the “patchwork of lucky breaks and arbitrary advantages that today determine success.” With the Inauguration coming up, I wonder what Gladwell would say about Barack Obama.

The part of the book that really resonated with me (enough so that I stopped and wrote it down while I was reading it) was that in some way, success can often be traced back to the relationship between an individual and meaningful work. In particular, that meaningful work involves the following three factors.
1. Complexity
2. Autonomy
3. Relationship between effort and reward
I think this is important to keep in mind. It seems easy to conclude that everyone in the world cannot be successful. However, looked at this way, I wonder: Why can’t we all have meaningful work?

2009 Begins

2009-01-13T23:11:00.001-05:00

So it's January. 2009. My birthday has come and gone, and we are still under the sign of Capricorn.

My favorite animal is not, in fact, the goat. It is the elephant. I have had people remark that this is because "an elephant never forgets." Most everyone close to me recognizes that I have an extraordinary memory. I have to imagine that this will not last. And I have already noticed myself forgetting things. For this reason, I need to keep a diary. And I travel too much to remember to bring it with me all the time. So here goes!

Tim and I rang in 2009 with a quiet night at home. This was a first for me and I loved it! We had a nice surf and turf dinner, played 90s trivial pursuit - or I should say: Tim destroyed me at 90s trivial pursuit - and watched the ball drop. I felt sorry for all the people freezing their butts off in Times Square where I had been with Tim, my niece and nephew and my friend, Shruti, three weeks earlier. We didn't even make enough noise to bother B.J.

We spent the first weekend of the year going to basketball games. Colgate at American Friday night. Pitt at Georgetown Saturday afternoon and UNC-W at George Mason on Saturday night. Then we swung by the Wascavages to see their fabulous lights display. Sunday we picked up Sandwiches at the Italian Store and met Mary, Patrick, Jen, Scott, Jim & Christine at Veramar in Berryville, VA. It was too cold for the porch, so we tasted and then ate our sandwiches, chatted, and drank more wine inside. On the way home, Tim and I swung by Colleen and Cliff's to meet baby Mary for the first time and to drop off their wine.

The next day I was off to Fort Worth for a week of training and Program Team Meetings. That Tuesday we had a terribly upsetting client meeting, which made me so angry I could see my hand shake, and so after dinner at the Chop House, we headed to the bars - first the flying saucer where they have hundreds of beers on tap, then to the Fox and the Hound for some checkers with homemade-out-of-napkins checkers. Thursday night I headed to Dallas, where I met Ashley for dinner at the Iron Cactus, then watched Grey's Anatomy at her apartment. And was reminded that I could never own cats as I couldn't breathe after the hour-long show. Friday I flew home to D.C. and my boys.

Saturday morning Tim and I headed to Philadelphia for Debbie and Tony's wedding. We made excellent time and hung out at Mom and Dad's for a bit before heading to St. Timothy's Church in the old neighborhood for the Wedding Ceremony. The snow held out until the Reception at the Maltese Room, and then was only light. Everyone looked beautiful and it was a really nice day. It was super fun to see John and MaryKate as junior groomsmen and flower girl. John looked miserable and like he just wanting to get it all over with. MaryKate looked like it was the greatest day of her life. I was a flower girl at 6 and can vouch that you absolutely feel like there is only one person cooler than you in the world that day - and that is the bride. Apparently, we are programmed by 6 to start dreaming of our wedding day. Pathetic. And I always thought I was practical!

Sunday morning, Tim and I had brunch with Joe and Gaby before heading back to D.C. We picked up B.J. at Jim and Christine's in Burke before heading home. Monday it was back to the good 'ol Worthington Renaissance hotel in Fort Worth for a week of Audit training. I landed in DFW yesterday to a beautiful 65 degF, and a gorgeous sunset.

I finished Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell yesterday. Excellent. I recommend to anyone. But especially parents. And Teachers. I don't recommend reading Chapter SEVEN while actually on a plane though. It is entitled "The Ethnic Theory of Plane Crashes." Any intelligent person would have set it down and read it while firmly on the ground. Not me. I am that smart.

After checking in, I wandered around the City. It really is quite cute. I read signs on the street about the City's history and architecture. I wandered around the Barnes and Noble for a long time. They have a huge version of Remington's "Bronco Buster" there which spans two floors. I wanted to take it's photo, but held myself back from taking pictures in a Barnes and Noble store. That was too embarrassing even for me.

Today after a full day of class, we had an organized group dinner. 4 of us girls in the training headed over to dinner right from class and were a little early so we went into some of the shops in the plaza. One, called Francesca, was a cute little boutique with overpriced greeting cards printed with lots of good quotes. I enjoyed reading them - many quotes that I really enjoy. But not ones I would really ever send to someone on a greeting card. One of my favorites:

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer. -Rainer Maria Rilke